


Who's Gonna Come Around

by Fuleao



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Gen, I was asked to write some angstus, Loneliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 10:42:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13212075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fuleao/pseuds/Fuleao
Summary: If only sleep were something you accomplished by concentrating, instead of the other way around.





	Who's Gonna Come Around

Angus’ pajamas were on, his alarm clock set, his glasses folded and ready on his bedside table. He was already halfway under the covers. The only thing left to do was blow out the candle next to his glasses.

He hesitated, propped on one elbow, watching the flame flicker and dance. Because it was pretty. Definitely for that reason only.

But he wanted to be rested and sharp for tomorrow, so finally he leaned forward and extinguished the flame. He flopped down and pulled the blanket up over his nose. He closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh, appreciating the rush of warmth over the lower half of his face. And he tried very hard to think of nothing but sleep.

If only sleep were something you accomplished by concentrating, instead of the other way around. Whenever Angus tried to clear his mind, it went places he very much wanted to stay out of. If he thought of decoy topics, the effort kept him awake. And more often than not, the long-standing, nagging problems won over whatever he tried to distract himself with. 

Maybe if it was the issued he was untangling for work, it wouldn’t be so bad. That sometimes even led to waking up with a fresh thought on how to find the answer. No, right now, Angus’ mind was latched on to bigger, more personal problems, ones that had no easy answer. Ones that Angus wasn’t sure he wanted the answers to.

It had been months since visiting his grandpa under false pretenses. It was easy to convince his parents, given the circumstances. The old man lived with no one but a cranky nurse, the year anniversary of his wife’s death not long past. Mom and Dad had thought it very sweet and considerate that Angus had thought to have a prolonged stay with him.

It hadn’t been about that at all.

Angus saw an easy opportunity to get out on his own. His parents were trusting in his self-sufficiency to avoid any problems with his grandfather’s senile moments. Angus fully intended to use those moments to his own advantage. It was embarrassing, looking back; he wanted to live the lives of the people he read about, many of them kids barely older than him, who did really cool things. And good and helpful things, too. But also very, very cool.

The whole business on the train had been an unexpected boost. Riding on the buzz surrounding that, he’d secured more cases, and had indeed been very successful at finding the information his clients wanted. To the extent actually possible, of course; it was a relief when it turned out the missing pieces were due to a worldwide mindwipe.

And now he was on a secret moon, privy to deep secrets, helping to save the whole entire world. Pretty much the most important and definitely coolest thing he could be helping with. It would have made a good book in itself, but it was real.

And his parents had no idea. Because they didn’t know what had happened to him.

The director had asked about his legal guardianship, naturally, while getting everything in order. Angus had hesitated. It would have been the perfect opportunity to sort this all out. But it would have also meant owing up to his lies, or the possibility that his parents wouldn’t let him join the organization. So he’d played up his moment of hesitation, finally explaining in a shaky voice that he’d been living with his grandfather, who’d recently passed away. Maybe it was sympathy, or maybe it was eagerness for his help, but the Director hadn’t pried much after that. Which was fortunate, because not only was Grandfather still living, but Angus had visited him for a total of two days before claiming he was on his way back home.

For the first week, or maybe two, he’d been too caught up in his new and exciting job. Even now, during the day he could keep everything tamped down. In the evening, he could usually drown it all out with some evening reading. It wasn’t until he was alone and supposed to think of nothing that he was flooded by….everything.

He’d always felt stifled. He was smart, responsible….precocious was the word he often heard applied to himself. Maybe that fed into his frustration when he felt like he could do more, and was told no.

And now…now it made a lot of sense. Of course his parents weren’t just going to agree to their ten year old son getting into law enforcement. Most people wouldn’t. It had nothing to do with a lack of trust. It did have a little to do with his age, but….as much as he hated to admit it, they’d been right to be. There was a reason people didn’t normally become detectives before they’d finished grade school. But beyond all that….it was because they loved him. Because you didn’t readily let someone go into danger, especially when you had no evidence they could handle it.

And he could fix it. At any point, he could end his miserable separation from his parents. All he’d have to do…is go tell them to their faces that he’d lied, and ran away, and left them wondering if he was even alive, all so he could have what he wanted. He could barely bring himself to imagine their reactions.

He had no one to blame but himself for his problems, and he had no one to turn to either. If he talked to someone on the base about this, they’d think he wasn’t up to the job, and he’d also have to admit he’d lied, and that he’d been so stupid and selfish. They’d realize how silly they’d been to hire a little kid, and send him home.

Angus pulled the blanket over his head and curled up tighter. His arms were tucked against his chest, but they felt empty.

At least it was easier to sleep after a good cry.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [I Have Made Mistakes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13213842) by [BlueSpaceQueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueSpaceQueen/pseuds/BlueSpaceQueen)




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